Listen, Bioware, we need to have a talk.
You see, I’ve been spending a lot of my time lately playing Dragon Age: Inquisition and I have largely been enjoying the experience. Enjoying it, that is, until now. You see, while I was playing yesterday I encountered an item so preposterous I had to pause the game and double check I hadn’t accidentally glitched it.
That item? The so called “Wedge of Destiny”.
I realise that Dragon Age is a fantasy series and I should have no greater problem with the inclusion of this item then I would with evil tree demons or magic elves but the moment I picked it up I was completely removed from the experience; It shattered my immersion so completely I don’t think I’ll be able to return.
This is your fault, Bioware, you could have fixed this.
Am I to understand that this slipped through the net at your clearly under staffed or under trained Q.A. departments? Or was removing this item somehow more complicated than leaving it in?
After looking into this matter, I could not find a single post or media output covering this issue and I have reached out to both Bioware and EA for a comment. I am genuinely surprised that there has not been a bigger fuss made over this obvious problem. It is sad to imagine, but perhaps the atmosphere of persistent failure created by broken big budget titles like Assassin’s Creed: Unity has left us so unmoved as a community to problems like this nobody has the willpower to complain anymore.
Well, not me. I will do everything in my power to hold this failure to task.
Do you honestly think I can just sit here and look past the fact that my character; the Inquisitor, who has been tasked with taking down a powerful undead villain that commands an Archdemon, cannot tell the difference between a cheese wedge and a cheese wheel?
Skyrim was one of the most broken games of 2011 but as we can clearly see in the screenshot above, even they coded their cheese wedges properly. I don’t want to hear any more bullshit about the difficulty of coding proper wedge geometry, it may have worked for you in Jade Empire but now that hurdle has been passed. It’s obvious to everyone that the Xbox One and PS4 both have the advanced graphical power to render cheese properly, you’re not fooling anyone with those excuses.
Frankly, Bioware, I expected more from you. I wanted to like Dragon Age, I really did, but I can’t; not until this error has been patched from the game and my memory.
After this, I doubt I will be buying Mass Effect 4. Unless it looks really good in trailers or something.